A WOMAN FOR ALL REASONS
BY PAUL CHANDLER AND NICK GOODMAN
EPISODE SEVEN: INTERESTED PARTIES...
BY PAUL CHANDLER
MAIN CHARACTERS
MATTHEW - AN ASSISTANT LIBRARIAN
BOB - A DEPUTY THEATRE MANAGER
DEBS - BOB'S WIFE
AUNTIE ALICE - DEB'S AUNT
EMILY - SENIOR LIBRARY CLERK
KIRSTEN - LIBRARY CLERK
OTHER CHARACTERS - TO BE UPDATED SOON
THE STORY SO FAR:
MATT IS TRYING TO HELP HIS BEST FRIEND, BOB, THROUGH A WRITER'S BLOCK - INVOLVING HIM IN A LOCAL MYSTERY INVOLVING AN INHABITANT WHO APPEARS TO BE OVER-150 YEARS OLD... THEY BEGIN TO PIECE TOGETHER A NUMBER OF CLUES BY SPEAKING TO A RATHER ECCENTRIC LIBRARIAN CALLED EMILY - MEANWHILE, BOB'S WIFE - DEBS - ISN'T COPING SO WELL WITH HER HUSBAND GALLIVANTING AROUND THE TOWN AT ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT AND SHE HAS CONFIDED HER CONCERNS TO HER TRUSTY AUNT ALICE... MUCH TO DEBS'S DISMAY ALICE TAKES A FAR DEEPER INTEREST IN THE WHOLE MATTER THAN HAD BEEN EXPECTED - TRACING BOB AND MATT'S FOOTSTEPS TO TRY AND DISCOVER WHAT EXACTLY THEY HAVE BEEN UP TO!
SC. 20. INT. A COUNTRY HOUSE, SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA, NIGHT
(In a luxuriant country house somewhere in Australia a large middle-aged gentleman lounges on a pile of cushions upon an expensive looking bed, he is not sleeping but is reading a retro Sci-fi/Adventure comic book from the late 70s or 80s, entitled THE ADVENTURES OF TWIDDLER. He doesn't notice as the door of his bedroom opens and another younger man enters, looking nervous...)
MAN: (keen for a response)
Well, Hercules?
HERCULES: (pleased to have good news)
Your bid was successful, sir...
MAN: (happy, but quietly so)
Marvellous! How much did it cost me?
HERCULES:
Significantly less than you were expecting?
MAN:
For the whole run?
HERCULES:
For the whole run, sir - yes... A snip at seven thousand five hundred...
MAN:
My goodness! That was a bargain... Well done, you've done me proud...
HERCULES:
For one hundred and twenty five issues, yes... Most certainly...
MAN: (concerned)
One hundred and twenty six is the full set - there was a summer special remember... I do hope it's one hundred and twenty six, Hercules... Don't let one copy be missing... That really would spoil the value...
HERCULES: (apologetic)
I'm sorry, sir... Sorry... Yes... You're right... One hundred and twenty six... That is what I meant...
MAN: (reassuringly)
Good... We will count them together when they arrive...
(Before Hercules can reply the bedroom door opens and an elderly woman enters - she shoots Hercules a knowing look and he quickly makes his excuses...)
WOMAN: (disapprovingly)
What have you been wasting your money on now, Edmund? Not more comics?
MAN/EDMUND: (gritting his teeth and remaining polite)
Yes, Mother - exactly that... I am now the proud owner of a complete run of THE MISADVENTURES OF TWIDDLER...
MOTHER: (attempting to show interest)
Is that one you used to write for or one you used to collect as a boy?
EDMUND: (calmly, close to patronising)
One I used to collect, mother...
MOTHER:
I always told you that you should have looked after them better...
EDMUND:
If I remember clearly I think you used to tell me off for keeping them... I came home from university one holiday only to find them smouldering on a bonfire in the back garden...
MOTHER:
It was cold, we needed fuel for the fire...
EDMUND:
Nonsense... It was July, mother... Still... That was a very long time ago now...
MOTHER: (playfully)
It was indeed... Have you forgiven me?
EDMUND: (bluntly)
The jury is out...
MOTHER: (chuckling almost unkindly)
I don't know... You and your superhero magazines...
EDMUND: (put out)
Twiddler was not a superhero... If anything he was an anti-hero - a villain; although whether he considered himself as such I very much doubt...
MOTHER:
Criminals never do dear - look at Donald Trump...
EDMUND:
I'd rather not if you don't mind...
MOTHER: (reflecting with surprise)
Goodness me... How strange... A comic book with the baddie as the leading man?
EDMUND:
If you like...
MOTHER:
Like Raffles, perhaps?
EDMUND:
Not like Raffles, no... Not really...
MOTHER: (wistfully)
Oh... What a shame... I do like me some Raffles... So charming! I always wanted to be whisked away to somewhere glamorous by him or someone like him... But no... I had to stay here...
EDMUND:
The antics of Twiddler should hardly be new to you, mother... I'm pretty sure I talked about nothing else when I was in my mid-teens...
MOTHER:
You could be right, dear... I forget now...
EDMUND:
Did you want something, mother? I'm busy!
MOTHER:
Shouldn't you be working, dear?
EDMUND:
This is my work...
MOTHER:
Really? How odd...
EDMUND:
If you must know absolutely everything about my day - I am waiting for a phone call...
MOTHER: (curious)
Oooh! Really? How exciting...
EDMUND:
You make receiving a phone call sound like something unusual...
MOTHER:
Well dear - when it's you then it usually is exciting news one way or another...
EDMUND:
You can flatter me all you like, mother - but I'm still not going to tell you any more about it...
(Mother looks frustrated, but before she can say anything the phone begins to ring and Edmund puts down his magazine and makes shooing movements to indicate that she should leave, which - very grudgingly she does, although she pauses out in the hall hoping to hear some of his conversation. Expecting this, Edmund puts his call on hold - gets up off the bed and goes to the bedroom door - making it clear to his mother that she has been seen; having done so he closes the door firmly and returns to the phone.)
I'm sorry... I was being overheard... All is well now... So... Tell me...Is everything in place? It is? Good... Good... Yes... I saw your email... Most interesting... Well... Thank you for letting me know... I presume that you'll get back in touch when you have more information for me... Marvellous... Alright then... I'll speak to you again soon...
(Edmund is looking very pleased with himself as he breaks the call. He fumbles with his phone and brings up his emails on the screen - he is looking at some small thumb-nail photos and the faces are familiar... Matt, Bob, Debs, Auntie Alice, Emily, Kirsten...)
MAN: (keen for a response)
Well, Hercules?
HERCULES: (pleased to have good news)
Your bid was successful, sir...
MAN: (happy, but quietly so)
Marvellous! How much did it cost me?
HERCULES:
Significantly less than you were expecting?
MAN:
For the whole run?
HERCULES:
For the whole run, sir - yes... A snip at seven thousand five hundred...
MAN:
My goodness! That was a bargain... Well done, you've done me proud...
HERCULES:
For one hundred and twenty five issues, yes... Most certainly...
MAN: (concerned)
One hundred and twenty six is the full set - there was a summer special remember... I do hope it's one hundred and twenty six, Hercules... Don't let one copy be missing... That really would spoil the value...
HERCULES: (apologetic)
I'm sorry, sir... Sorry... Yes... You're right... One hundred and twenty six... That is what I meant...
MAN: (reassuringly)
Good... We will count them together when they arrive...
(Before Hercules can reply the bedroom door opens and an elderly woman enters - she shoots Hercules a knowing look and he quickly makes his excuses...)
WOMAN: (disapprovingly)
What have you been wasting your money on now, Edmund? Not more comics?
MAN/EDMUND: (gritting his teeth and remaining polite)
Yes, Mother - exactly that... I am now the proud owner of a complete run of THE MISADVENTURES OF TWIDDLER...
MOTHER: (attempting to show interest)
Is that one you used to write for or one you used to collect as a boy?
EDMUND: (calmly, close to patronising)
One I used to collect, mother...
MOTHER:
I always told you that you should have looked after them better...
EDMUND:
If I remember clearly I think you used to tell me off for keeping them... I came home from university one holiday only to find them smouldering on a bonfire in the back garden...
MOTHER:
It was cold, we needed fuel for the fire...
EDMUND:
Nonsense... It was July, mother... Still... That was a very long time ago now...
MOTHER: (playfully)
It was indeed... Have you forgiven me?
EDMUND: (bluntly)
The jury is out...
MOTHER: (chuckling almost unkindly)
I don't know... You and your superhero magazines...
EDMUND: (put out)
Twiddler was not a superhero... If anything he was an anti-hero - a villain; although whether he considered himself as such I very much doubt...
MOTHER:
Criminals never do dear - look at Donald Trump...
EDMUND:
I'd rather not if you don't mind...
MOTHER: (reflecting with surprise)
Goodness me... How strange... A comic book with the baddie as the leading man?
EDMUND:
If you like...
MOTHER:
Like Raffles, perhaps?
EDMUND:
Not like Raffles, no... Not really...
MOTHER: (wistfully)
Oh... What a shame... I do like me some Raffles... So charming! I always wanted to be whisked away to somewhere glamorous by him or someone like him... But no... I had to stay here...
EDMUND:
The antics of Twiddler should hardly be new to you, mother... I'm pretty sure I talked about nothing else when I was in my mid-teens...
MOTHER:
You could be right, dear... I forget now...
EDMUND:
Did you want something, mother? I'm busy!
MOTHER:
Shouldn't you be working, dear?
EDMUND:
This is my work...
MOTHER:
Really? How odd...
EDMUND:
If you must know absolutely everything about my day - I am waiting for a phone call...
MOTHER: (curious)
Oooh! Really? How exciting...
EDMUND:
You make receiving a phone call sound like something unusual...
MOTHER:
Well dear - when it's you then it usually is exciting news one way or another...
EDMUND:
You can flatter me all you like, mother - but I'm still not going to tell you any more about it...
(Mother looks frustrated, but before she can say anything the phone begins to ring and Edmund puts down his magazine and makes shooing movements to indicate that she should leave, which - very grudgingly she does, although she pauses out in the hall hoping to hear some of his conversation. Expecting this, Edmund puts his call on hold - gets up off the bed and goes to the bedroom door - making it clear to his mother that she has been seen; having done so he closes the door firmly and returns to the phone.)
I'm sorry... I was being overheard... All is well now... So... Tell me...Is everything in place? It is? Good... Good... Yes... I saw your email... Most interesting... Well... Thank you for letting me know... I presume that you'll get back in touch when you have more information for me... Marvellous... Alright then... I'll speak to you again soon...
(Edmund is looking very pleased with himself as he breaks the call. He fumbles with his phone and brings up his emails on the screen - he is looking at some small thumb-nail photos and the faces are familiar... Matt, Bob, Debs, Auntie Alice, Emily, Kirsten...)
(A sunny location, a spotlessly clean apartment with very minimal "modern" decoration. A couple in their mid-30s sit, deep in conversation - they are dressed in a casual yet fashionable style - there is a baby-monitor on the table. They are clearly deep in conversation but appear distracted by one of their staff who is busy attempting to clean this room and another that is attached to it.)
I really can't wait for tonight's episode... It'll be a good one, I think...
WOMAN: (in agreement)
Oh, I do hope so... Last week's cliffhanger was wonderful, I thought...
MAN:
I don't know where they get their ideas...
WOMAN:
Darling, you do know that it's not scripted, right?
MAN: (unsure)
I'm sorry?
WOMAN: (almost laughing)
You do know that it's real - more like reality television than an actual drama with a script involved...
MAN: (completely surprised)
Really? You're kidding... Oh... I completely hate reality TV... It's a scourge on modern society...
WOMAN:
Oh, you are funny... What on earth is the difference?
MAN:
I don't understand...
WOMAN: (almost mocking)
Well, what's the difference between watching a drama - or watching reality TV... The drama is full of odd characters doing odd things - just like the reality show... The only difference is that one is real and one isn't...
MAN: (stupidly stubborn)
It's completely different and you know it...
WOMAN:
Why? Because you feel happier in knowing that the people doing the things may be unpleasant - but at least they're not real... Is that it?
MAN:
Nonsense... I have things to do... Enjoy your reality TV...
(The woman begins to laugh as the man strides silently from the room, but then seems slightly upset when she realises that her companion is actually genuinely cross with her. She shrugs - and then notices that one of her staff is standing in the doorway looking slightly nervous as to whether he should enter and continue his cleaning work.)
WOMAN: (calmly/kindly)
Georgio... Come in... It's fine to clean in here...
GEORGIO: (worried/nervous)
I'm sorry, madame... I wasn't sure... Your husband... He was cross...
WOMAN:
It's okay... Come in... We were just discussing semantics over television programmes... Well... I'm not sure it even counts as a television show if you watch on the internet...
GEORGIO:
Do you mean like Youtube?
WOMAN: (eyeing him with a smile, almost teasing)
A little different... It's an actual channel dedicated to... Well... Anyway... It doesn't matter... I don't suppose you have much time for television... When you're young you don't want to be staying indoors - you want to be outside and enjoying yourself... Am I right?
GEORGIO:
Well, yes... I suppose... But there is always time...
WOMAN:
Well, let me show you... It might amuse you... No... Leave your work for the moment... Come in... Close the door... There is something you should see... Are you interested?
GEORGIO: (politely)
Yes, madame...
WOMAN:
Then come here...
(Georgio nervously comes across the room to the sofa where the woman is lounging - quickly she grabs the young man's hand and pulls him down on her - kissing him passionately, hungrily. Georgio responds excitedly and the two of them begin to undress - but suddenly we are watching the seduction through a monitor screen - the scene pulls back and we see that other members of staff are watching events down in the kitchen. The cook tuts and shakes her head - she shoos the other staff back to their jobs and then presses a button by the screen - the scene changes and we begin to see familiar faces from our own story - including the events from the following scene (22) from the UK Police Station.)
SC. 22. INT. THE POLICE STATION, NIGHT
TAVISTOCK: (determinedly)
Okay... The time is right... Show them out... Give them my apologies, won't you?
CARR:
Oh... Sure... Alright... I'll do that...
TAVISTOCK MUMBLES SOMETHING AND ONCE CARR HAS LEFT THE ROOM HE FLICKS THE CHANNEL ON HIS MONITOR SCREEN AND WE SEE CARR APPROACHING THE LADIES... WE DO NOT HEAR THEM SPEAK BUT WATCH AS THEIR BELONGINGS ARE RETURNED TO THEM AND ALICE AND DEBS HEAD OFF ON THEIR WAY...
ALERT! PROGRESSING TO NEXT STAGE...
READS THE WORDS ON THE SCREEN AND THEN WE BEGIN TO REALISE THAT TAVISTOCK IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WATCHING - WE SEE MANY SCREENS AND MANY FACES WATCHING - ALL EAGER TO SEE WHAT MAY HAPPEN NEXT...
END OF EPISODE SEVEN
(Alice and Debs are still in The Police Station, although they are no longer being questioned - they are merely waiting to have their belongings returned so that they can leave, but there is a delay...)
DEBS: (with simmering fury)
What on earth is going on here? How long can it take to get our stuff back for goodness sakes?
ALICE:
I have a theory - but I am loathe to discuss it whilst we remain in this building...
DEBS:
Oh, yes? Then wait and tell me when we leave...
ALICE:
That's if we leave before that lovely Mr Trump gets frustrated and accidentally presses the big red button...
DEBS:
I do hope you're being sarcastic, Auntie?
ALICE:
About him pressing the big red button?
DEBS:
No... That's almost inevitable... No, about him being lovely!
ALICE:
Of course, I was definitely being sarcastic...
DEBS:
Listen, should I go and speak to someone? At very least if we're not being held for questioning I think we definitely deserve a cup of coffee or something...
ALICE:
Well, it's early, dear... There aren't a lot of staff on duty...
DEBS:
All the more reason to let us go... You don't think they're waiting until daylight or something - because they're worried about us being on the streets so early in the morning?
ALICE:
Because they think we might cause a disturbance?
DEBS:
No, silly... Because they think it's dangerous for us...
ALICE:
If they thought it was dangerous they could have driven us home about an hour ago - it's almost 6AM, do you realise that? We've been here for absolutely hours...
DEBS:
...And for WHAT?!
ALICE:
Well, as I say... I have my theories... (lowers her voice) I think we're being kept here as a delaying tactic - they've questioned us, but know we've done nothing wrong... Now they're resorted to pretending they've misplaced my handbag and your coat...
DEBS:
For what reason, exactly?
ALICE:
To give the others a head start...
DEBS:
To do WHAT?
ALICE:
Well, it's a possibility, isn't it? Don't you think?
DEBS:
But why would they want the others to get a head start? Are you saying that they're in on this or something?
ALICE:
In on what though? I must say I have no idea how any of this fits together - at least not at the moment...
DEBS:
We'll work it out...
MEANWHILE, NOT SO FAR AWAY THEY ARE WATCHED THROUGH ONE WAY GLASS BY PC CARR AND CHIEF SUPERINTENDENT TAVISTOCK...
CARR: (irritated)
They're whispering? I can't hear what they're saying?
TAVISTOCK: (patiently)
Of course they're whispering, Carr - they know something is up - they know we're keeping them here for as long as possible, just because...
CARR:
So we don't mind that they're whispering?
TAVISTOCK:
Not really... We'll give them another 10 minutes and then send them on their way... I'm just waiting for the okay... You do have their belongings ready, I hope.
CARR:
Errr... Yeah... Somewhere... No... No.. Really... I know where it all is...
TAVISTOCK: (slowly, carefully)
Good... Well... Run along then and prepare to send our guests on their way...
CARR:
Are you saying that in a deliberately sinister way or is that just how you speak?
TAVISTOCK:
It's just how I speak, thank you...
JUST AT THAT MOMENT TAVISTOCK IS DISTRACTED BY AN ALERT ON HIS COMPUTER SCREEN, WHICH READS:
LET THEM GO - WE WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT...
DEBS: (with simmering fury)
What on earth is going on here? How long can it take to get our stuff back for goodness sakes?
ALICE:
I have a theory - but I am loathe to discuss it whilst we remain in this building...
DEBS:
Oh, yes? Then wait and tell me when we leave...
ALICE:
That's if we leave before that lovely Mr Trump gets frustrated and accidentally presses the big red button...
DEBS:
I do hope you're being sarcastic, Auntie?
ALICE:
About him pressing the big red button?
DEBS:
No... That's almost inevitable... No, about him being lovely!
ALICE:
Of course, I was definitely being sarcastic...
DEBS:
Listen, should I go and speak to someone? At very least if we're not being held for questioning I think we definitely deserve a cup of coffee or something...
ALICE:
Well, it's early, dear... There aren't a lot of staff on duty...
DEBS:
All the more reason to let us go... You don't think they're waiting until daylight or something - because they're worried about us being on the streets so early in the morning?
ALICE:
Because they think we might cause a disturbance?
DEBS:
No, silly... Because they think it's dangerous for us...
ALICE:
If they thought it was dangerous they could have driven us home about an hour ago - it's almost 6AM, do you realise that? We've been here for absolutely hours...
DEBS:
...And for WHAT?!
ALICE:
Well, as I say... I have my theories... (lowers her voice) I think we're being kept here as a delaying tactic - they've questioned us, but know we've done nothing wrong... Now they're resorted to pretending they've misplaced my handbag and your coat...
DEBS:
For what reason, exactly?
ALICE:
To give the others a head start...
DEBS:
To do WHAT?
ALICE:
Well, it's a possibility, isn't it? Don't you think?
DEBS:
But why would they want the others to get a head start? Are you saying that they're in on this or something?
ALICE:
In on what though? I must say I have no idea how any of this fits together - at least not at the moment...
DEBS:
We'll work it out...
MEANWHILE, NOT SO FAR AWAY THEY ARE WATCHED THROUGH ONE WAY GLASS BY PC CARR AND CHIEF SUPERINTENDENT TAVISTOCK...
CARR: (irritated)
They're whispering? I can't hear what they're saying?
TAVISTOCK: (patiently)
Of course they're whispering, Carr - they know something is up - they know we're keeping them here for as long as possible, just because...
CARR:
So we don't mind that they're whispering?
TAVISTOCK:
Not really... We'll give them another 10 minutes and then send them on their way... I'm just waiting for the okay... You do have their belongings ready, I hope.
CARR:
Errr... Yeah... Somewhere... No... No.. Really... I know where it all is...
TAVISTOCK: (slowly, carefully)
Good... Well... Run along then and prepare to send our guests on their way...
CARR:
Are you saying that in a deliberately sinister way or is that just how you speak?
TAVISTOCK:
It's just how I speak, thank you...
JUST AT THAT MOMENT TAVISTOCK IS DISTRACTED BY AN ALERT ON HIS COMPUTER SCREEN, WHICH READS:
LET THEM GO - WE WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT...
TAVISTOCK: (determinedly)
Okay... The time is right... Show them out... Give them my apologies, won't you?
CARR:
Oh... Sure... Alright... I'll do that...
TAVISTOCK MUMBLES SOMETHING AND ONCE CARR HAS LEFT THE ROOM HE FLICKS THE CHANNEL ON HIS MONITOR SCREEN AND WE SEE CARR APPROACHING THE LADIES... WE DO NOT HEAR THEM SPEAK BUT WATCH AS THEIR BELONGINGS ARE RETURNED TO THEM AND ALICE AND DEBS HEAD OFF ON THEIR WAY...
ALERT! PROGRESSING TO NEXT STAGE...
READS THE WORDS ON THE SCREEN AND THEN WE BEGIN TO REALISE THAT TAVISTOCK IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WATCHING - WE SEE MANY SCREENS AND MANY FACES WATCHING - ALL EAGER TO SEE WHAT MAY HAPPEN NEXT...
I received Nick's episode six on Monday 1st May 2017, but due to other creative projects and various holidays I didn't get a chance to start writing episode 7 until late June, early July 2017. I actually came up with the idea for my episode on Monday 17th July and did a scene break-down. This episode removes us slightly from the main events of the previous episode - but I wanted to develop a broader sense that some of the things that are happening are somehow being shared with a wider network of interested parties. Scene 20 was eventually written in one sitting on Thursday 31st August 2017, with scene 21 written in a similar standalone writing block on the 14th September. Scene 22 was written between the 18th and the 19th September 2017. Following this I did some reworking of the three scenes between the 20th and 28th September 2017, before sending the episode off to Nick to read. Overall, I hope that I am taking the story into some kind of new area which will also compliment what we have already written. There are definitely more questions than answers at the moment, but I hope it intrigues. What with the first two scenes being rather removed from the other events so far I wanted the final scene to take us back into the story - now aware that at least some of the events are being watched by curious internet-users/subscribers in other locations. I also enjoyed the discussion in Scene 21 about the difference between drama and reality TV, partly inspired by the sorts of conversations my father has when he claims to hate soap operas but then watches a western with all the same elements as a soap - just with added cowboys and indians. He also watches The Archers. Dad, that's a soap! *shakes head sadly* I also enjoyed writing the beginnings of the seduction - especially when a strong female character is taking the lead and reversing stereotypical roles. Lucky Georgio!
